Can My Marriage Change If My Spouse Doesn't Change?

Poetry to Remember What Grace Is

"Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
  Nor flight from all distress, but this:
 The grace that orders our trouble and pain,
  And then, in the darkness, is there to sustain."


For more on who wrote this and where it came from, visit here.

When Do You Play the "Theological Mystery Card"?

I seriously enjoyed this blog entry from Matthew Lee Anderson on Mere Orthodoxy:

Every theologian, wanna-be theologian, a-theologian, and otherwise thinking person has one.

Discuss a point of theology long enough, and you’ll inevitably see it played. Call it Anderson’s Law: as a theological conversation grows longer, the probability of seeing the mystery card approaches one.

You’ll learn to see it coming. The shoulders shrug just a little, a sympathetic smile starts slowly forms, slow-motion starts as the words hit you: ”Well, some things are a mystery…”

This is a dangerous card for the theologian to play, as it functions as a bit of a trump card. Play it too early, and you short-circuit the difficult process of coming to a more robust understanding of the subject of inquiry. Don’t ever play it, and end up like Chesterton’s lunatic who tries to get the heavens into his head, only to have his head split.

With that said, here are a few of theological and a-theological frameworks and the distinct places where the mystery card gets played:

• Calvinists: the existence of human responsibility 
• Arminians: the existence of divine sovereignty over salvation 
• Roman Catholics: the simultaneous presence of Christ’ body in the Eucharist and in Heaven 
• Anglo-Catholics: their relationship to the Reformation 
• Naturalists: consciousness and the existence of free will 
• Eastern Orthodox: I’m pretty sure this is the only card they play with. 
• Lutherans: how (and that!) sanctification happens 
• Weslyans: why sanctification doesn’t happen 
• Baptists: the working of the Holy Spirit 
• Pentacostals: the working of anything else 
• Dispensationalists: the Old Testament 

Yes, the list is a bit of a joke. But it’s a joke to tease out the difficulty of knowing where to place our mysteries, and how many we should admit.

Cancer and God's Supreme Control

Cancer. There are few other words in the English language that are dreaded as much as this word. But what is God's will for us even when we are faced with a trial as great as cancer? Can we trust Him?

I preached his past Sunday out of Isaiah 38 - the story of Hezekiah's healing from a cancer-like (perhaps even cancerous) sickness - while this story of a pastor who was recently diagnosed with cancer lingered my mind. Now the point of Isa. 38 is that Hezekiah could trust God with his health crisis because he knew that the sickness was as much in the hand of God as the healing. This brings us to the reason why I am recommending you read "Don't Waste Your Cancer" by John Piper and David Powlison - both men who have been afflicted with cancer.

Here's a snippet by David Powlison from the article: "Suffering really is meant to wean you from sin and strengthen your faith. If you are God-less, then suffering magnifies sin. Will you become more bitter, despairing, addictive, fearful, frenzied, avoidant, sentimental, godless in how you go about life? Will you pretend it’s business as usual? Will you come to terms with death, on your terms? But if you are God’s, then suffering in Christ’s hands will change you, always slowly, sometimes quickly. You come to terms with life and death on his terms. He will gentle you, purify you, cleanse you of vanities. He will make you need him and love him. He rearranges your priorities, so first things come first more often. He will walk with you. Of course you’ll fail at times, perhaps seized by irritability or brooding, escapism or fears. But he will always pick you up when you stumble. Your inner enemy - a moral cancer 10,000 times more deadly than your physical cancer - will be dying as you continue seeking and finding your Savior: 'For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity, for it is very great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way he should choose' (Psalm 25)."

And here is the ten ways that the experience of cancer can be wasted:

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.
5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.
6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.
7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.
9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.
10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

What does Christlike humility look like?

Cultivate Humility - Part 2

by Ryan Townsend

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6

Here's more great stuff to read slowly and prayerfully from Stuart Scott's From Pride to Humility: 

A list of 24 manifestations of what Christ exalting humility should produce in your life.

1. Recognizing and trusting God’s character (Psalm 119:66)

2. Seeing yourself as having no right to question or judge an Almighty and Perfect God (Psalm 145:17; Romans 9:19-23)

3. Focusing on Christ (Philippians 1:21; Hebrews 12:1-2)

4. Biblical praying and a great deal of it (1 Thessalonians 5:17; 1 Timothy 2:1-2)

5. Being overwhelmed with God’s undeserved grace and goodness (Psalm 116:12-19)

6. Thankfulness and gratitude in general towards others (1 Thess. 5:18)

7. Being gentle and patient (Colossians 3:12-14)

8. Seeing yourself as no better than others (Romans 12:16; Ephesians 3:8)

9. Having an accurate view of your gifts and abilities (Romans 12:3)

10. Being a good listener (James 1:19; Philippians 2:3-4)

11. Talking about others only if it is good or for their good (Proverbs 11:13)

12. Being gladly submissive and obedient to those in authority (Rom. 12:1-2, 13:1-2)

13. Preferring others over yourself (Romans 12:10)

14. Being thankful for criticism or reproof (Proverbs 9:8, 27:5-6)

15. Having a teachable spirit (Proverbs 9:9)

16. Seeking always to build up others (Ephesians 4:29)

17. Serving (Galatians 5:13)

18. A quickness in admitting when you are wrong (Proverbs 29:23)

19. A quickness in granting and asking for forgiveness (Colossians 3:12-14)

20. Repenting of sin as a way of life (Colossians 3:1-14; 1 Timothy 4:7-9)

21. Minimizing others’ sins or shortcomings in comparison to one’s own (Matthew 7:3-4)

22. Being genuinely glad for others (Romans 12:15)

23. Being honest and open about who you are and the areas in which you need growth (Philippians 3:12-14; Galatians 6:2) 24. Possessing close relationships (Acts 20:31-38)

reposted from http://blog.9marks.org/2010/01/cultivate-humility-part-2.html

But...how does one remain humble?

Q: “How does a follower of Jesus remain humble? I see areas of pride in my life, I confess them to my Father, but how do I remain in a state of humility?” In other words, can humility be maintained with the result that failures of pride will be drastically reduced over time? This great question begs the following questions as well: Is it reasonable to expect that we can remain in a state of humility for an extended period of time? What should I expect of myself? What does God expect of me?

A: I have a three-part answer by way of three illuminating questions:

1. What is the source of humility? Humility is not the by-product of “humble behavior”. In other words, acting humble won’t produce a humble state-of-mind (soul). In fact, the example of the Pharisees strongly indicate an opposite outcome. True humility is born of a sensitivity and awareness to the presence of God in a person’s life. To the degree that a person is encountering the living God, will he/she experience a sense of humbleness. Having a humble mind will produce humble behavior (cp. Phil. 2:5ff), not the other way around. Since this is true, we must ever learn to first “practice the presence of God” (ala Brother Lawrence) before we practice our Christianity!
2. Should I expect to see less sin over time? Since sanctification is a generally gradual and upward process experienced throughout one’s life, one would expect that he/she would see less and less sin in themselves over time. However, true spiritual progress produces a surprisingly different result. Notice that the more Paul grew mature in his faith, the more he became aware of his sinfulness and capacity for failure (cp. 1 Cor. 15:9 – near the beginning of his ministry; Eph. 3:8 – about the middle of his ministry; 1 Tim. 1:15 – near the end of his life)! Yet, he didn’t despair that he wasn’t all that he could be for Christ. Instead, this led him to realize that he was truly on the way and this brought him joy – not disappointment (Phil. 3:12-14). Why? Because he saw that his spiritual progress had less to do with his efforts and more to do with God’s grace (Titus 2:11-14). So when you become acutely aware of sin in your life and you are broken over it, take this is as a sign that you are growing, not slipping backwards!
3. On what should my focus be – grass or weeds? So often, we look at the garden of our lives and we see the weeds before we notice the grass. We get frustrated and sometimes even panic because, after all, we think, My garden is supposed to be “weed-free”, yet it isn’t! Ah, stinking weeds! I must rid myself once and for all of these shameful blights in my garden! We run to the garage and grab the strongest chemical we can and feverishly begin spraying everything that remotely resembles a weed. In fact, we get so focused on treating the weeds that we forget to water the grass! And while we may have laid waste to the weeds for the day, what will inevitably appear there tomorrow or the next day? Weeds! They will return because my garden is still on earth, not heaven. It is for this reason, I believe, that the NT spends more time on how to grow grass than kill weeds. And the logic is simple enough, for if our grass grows strong, healthy, and abundant, there will be less and less room for weeds. Our focus must be on developing our Christ-character by addition and multiplication and not just subtraction (cp. 2 Pet. 1:4ff). Also, we must keep in mind that if God can be patient with us, we can be patient with ourselves without violating passages like 2 Pet. 1:4ff which advocate an aggressive approach to positive character-building in the Christian life. 

Symptoms of Pride - by Ryan Townsend

Cultivate Humility - Part 1
by Ryan Townsend

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6

In his booklet From Pride to Humility, Stuart Scott has compiled an insightful list of 30 biblical indicators as to whether pride is resident in our hearts. Read these slowly and prayerfully.

1. Complaining against or passing judgment on God (Numbers 14:1-4, 9, 11; Romans 9:20)
2. A lack of gratitude (2 Chronicles 32:25)
3. Anger (Proverbs 28:25; Matthew 20:1-16)
4. Seeing yourself as better than others (Luke 7:36-50)
5. Having an inflated view of your importance, gifts and abilities (Acts 12:21-23)
6. Being focused on the lack of your gifts and abilities (1 Cor. 12:14-25)
7. Perfectionism (Matthew 23:24-28)
8. Talking too much (Proverbs 10:19)
9. Talking too much about yourself (Proverbs 27:2; Galatians 6:3)
10. Seeking independence or control (1 Corinthians 1:10-13; Ephesians 5:21)
11. Being consumed with what others think (Galatians 1:10)
12. Being devastated or angered by criticism (Proverbs 13:1)
13. Being unteachable (Proverbs 19:20; John 9:13-34)
14. Being sarcastic, hurtful, degrading, talking down to them(Proverbs 12:18, 24)
15. A lack of service (Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 2:10)
16. A lack of compassion (Matthew 5:7, 18:23-35)
17. Being defensive or blame-shifting (Genesis 3:12-13; Proverbs 12:1)
18. A lack of admitting when you are wrong (Proverbs 10:17)
19. A lack of asking forgiveness (Matthew 5:23-24)
20. A lack of biblical prayer (Luke 18:10-14)
21. Resisting authority or being disrespectful (1 Peter 2:13-17)
22. Voicing preferences or opinions when not asked (Philippians 2:1-4)
23. Minimizing your own sin and shortcomings (Matthew 7:3-5)
24. Maximizing others’ sin and shortcomings (Matthew 7:3-5; Luke 18:9-14)
25. Being impatient or irritable with others (Ephesians 4:31-32)
26. Being jealous or envious (1 Corinthians 13:4)
27. Using others (Matthew 7:12; Philippians 2:3-4)
28. Being deceitful by covering up sins, faults, and mistakes (Proverbs 11:3; 28:13)
29. Using attention-getting tactics (1 Peter 3:3,4)
30. Not having close relationships (Proverbs 18:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25)

View the original post on "Church Matters: The 9Marks Blog": http://blog.9marks.org/2010/01/cultivate-humility-part-1.html