“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”
The “ought to” here in this verse shouldn’t be understood as something that would be a nice thing to do if one feels like it or when one gets around to it (e.g., “I really ought to wash the car today”).
This is the Greek verb opheilo, which means “to owe” and “to be obligated”. It is often used in the context of financial obligations (Matt. 18:28, 30, 34; Luke 16:5, 7; 7:41; Philemon 1:18) or in the sense of obligations that are due to vows which have been made (Matt. 23:16, 18). Jesus uses this verb when He tells the disciples that they “ought to” wash one another’s feet (John 13:14). Paul uses the verb to express the obligation that the spiritually strong have toward the spiritually weak (Rom. 15:1). So what bearing does this have on 1 John 3:16? Instead of reading this as a really good suggestion, this has the weight of a serious command. Additionally, the construct of the verb carries with it the idea of continual action! So the second half of this verse could rightly be translated “we are under the continual obligation to be laying down our lives for the brothers.”
That packs a punch, doesn’t it? But why are we obligated like this? The first half of the verse tells us why: “He (Jesus) laid down his life for us”. Because He did this, we now have come to know love and have come to experience the love of God. John uses this verb opheilo again in 4:11: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
You have acquired a love debt. Having come to be loved by God you must never cease loving and you must realize that the debt of love you owe to others can never be paid off. It should be no surprise that our powerful little verb opheilo appears in Romans 13:8: “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Should this be seen as a grievous burden? Absolutely not! The moment we stepped into the love of God, He poured out His love into our lives (Rom. 5:5) so that now we can love others the way God wants us to love others.
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
(1 John 4:7-12)
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